I recently read this article about a mom who got annoyed with people telling her to enjoy every minute of it. Recently, I was telling my husband that I feel like I am not mom material because I don't love every minute nor does it come naturally or easy to me. I see mommy bloggers and moms in magazines/on television and they say they love every moment and wouldn't rather be doing anything else. I thought I would be this way but I am not. I don't love every moment and there are times when I would rather be doing something else.
I broke it down but first would like to note that I am very lucky to get the opportunity to stay home and I don't take that for granted. I also adore my little girl and she has my whole heart.
I love being a mom, mama, and mommy.
These things include snuggles, hugs, and a smile bright enough to light up the nights sky. It is things like play time, tickle time, and chasing a naked baby who doesn't want a diaper on. It is watching her smear yogurt all over her face or seeing her interest peeked because she heard the dishwasher open. It is seeing her watch through the oven window as something cooks. It is seeing her grow, change, and learn new things. It is anxiously waiting for the day she starts to walk. It is hearing mama. It is hearing a laugh. It is a sleeping baby on my chest. It is..... I could go on forever. There are so many moments that are a blessing, so many that warm my heart and make me smile, and so many that make me thankful for my little gummy bear.
I don't like being a mother.
These things include having a sick baby and not knowing how to fix it. It is being sleep deprived. It is seeing cuts or bruises and not knowing how to prevent it from happening again. It is being scared of allergies and new foods. It is not knowing how or why to pretty much everything. It is getting bit during nursing and crying through the next days of healing. Those types of things.
I don't enjoy forcing nasty tasting medicine into her mouth.
I don't know how to make her feel better. I don't know how to constantly not worry.
It isn't easy for me to hear my daughter cry, hence the reason she still sleeps on me. It isn't easy for me to leave her with someone else and trust that they will do it right. It isn't easy.....
With everyone saying they love every minute, I think it puts a lot of unneeded pressure on parents. Like the lady in the article I already felt like a failure because I couldn't fix her tummy or get her to sleep well but then I felt like a super failure because I didn't enjoy it all.